I am...

I am a law student who is a sophomore.
I am actually enthusiastic about this course, thinking that it is going to improve my writing.
I am a hardworking student at the times my psychology is alright.
I am from Istanbul and I live in Istanbul but I am actually originally from Aydin, a city that is next to Izmir.
I am a baseball player who loves to play.
I am a sophomore and I like my school.
I am a Turkish girl who lives beyond the Turkish traditions.
I am a person who smiles all the time and who likes to cheer people up.
I am sometimes very gullible and I get angry at myself because of that.
I am sometimes very sarcastic about people.
I am usually an easygoing person.
I am very careful about little details as a characteristic of my horoscope, Virgo.
I am very tender, loving and caring of the people I love.
I am very understanding and tolerant, yet you wouldn’t want to see me when I’m frustrated.
I am quite vulnerable when I feel blue.
I am a nonsmoker but I am used to being exposed to cigarette smoke.
I am a pet lover who had two dogs, two turtles, a rabbit, many birds and many fish but I don’t have any pets right now.
I am a sensitive person who gets touched easily.
I am not a person who quits easily, I play the hand I’ve been dealt.

a story

I remember the times I have spent with my grandfather even I was very small at those times. Every memory deteriorates in my mind but every single memory that consists of my grandfather is crystal clear in my mind. Is this a game that my mind is playing on me or is it just my obsession about him, I don’t know. He had a small country house with a large garden and donkeys, just by the forest and I went to visit him every summer. I loved to run around that forest and to the shopping mall. He would follow me with his slow pace. Every night he would play me his cello before I go to sleep was his favorite grandchild since I was the oldest, thus he did everything I asked for. I sometimes felt like abusing his love towards me because I was a small kid and he was a man who did everything I demanded. Anyway… . He would take me to the sea shore and he would never take his eyes off of me while I was swimming. Once my cousins and I were playing games in the sea, just splashing the water to each other and having fun in a ridiculous, childish way. The wind was blowing softly and the sun was shining with all its brightness. All of a sudden a shark appeared on the horizon but none of us took it real because sharks would not just wander around in such seas as small as the Aegean Sea. As it was getting closer and closer it got very freaky for me. I started to swim to the shore, screaming loudly as I can. My cousins were by the shore before me and as I was swimming I could see the fear on my grandfather’s face. There was no one left in the sea but me, I could not swim because of the large waves coming towards me. I felt the breath of death at the back of my neck when the shark nibbled me as if it was trying to feel its food. I started to see scenes of my life, as you are said to see before you die. Just at that time, the shark let go of me. It was a miracle! I was still alive and I was saved just with a few scratches. No one could believe their eyes. My grandfather could not believe it either because he fainted of heart attack. I would say that it was the luckiest day of my life if I didn’t lose my grandfather with that heart attack. He even could not see my miraculous rescue. And now I still don’t know if it was the luckiest or the unluckiest day of my life...

How To Graduate From Law School

Work very hard
No, don’t be so silly to think that is enough
You have work harder than ever
Study everyday
Read 1000 pages for just one lesson
Do not ask, do not question
I am studying law, is it justice
When people are taking their ease,
I am getting more to read?
Nothing is fair my child
So do not moan
Do not complain

Do not sleep
You have work to do
You can look bad, this is normal
Do not waste your time instead of studying
At this point, nothing can go wrong
You should read everyday
Read all the time
Put all other worries to one side
There’s no permission for you to have a social life

Ok kid, I was just kidding
You can take it easy
Live your life
You’ll graduate in any case
One way or another
Today or someday.

A PART OF MY FICTIONAL LIFE SPENT WITH ALI OSMAN PODOROVICH

Everything started with a formally dressed man who found me sleeping on the benches, he affectionately touched me. As I opened my eyes, I saw him standing beside me scanning me from head to foot. It was obvious that he was a social worker who came to take me again. I tried to make a great leap forward when I realized that he was already holding me from the arm. He told me that he was not going to hurt me but he was going to take me to my legal guardian.
The word “legal guardian” did not have a nice image on my mind. All the legal guardians that my parents attended did not want me. The social workers should have thought a lot before appointing this person as my legal guardian, I could understand that he did not have a life appropriate to raise a child; therefore I thought that I could finally get along with this one.
As the previous social workers did not make me get into to a car but we started to walk, my next legal guardian must have been somewhere around. Then the social worker led to the house I know very well, the house of Ali Osman Podorovich. Did my parents know him? How was he related to me? I could not understand. I was talking to this man as a friend from a very long time but I did not have an idea that he was my next legal guardian. I also could not understand that how could the government appoint such a drunk man as a legal guardian.
As I took my steps going to that house, I could feel that there is a new different future coming before me. When we saw Ali Osman, he was drunk again as usual. As we entered the house I realized that although I knew the house very well from the outside, I have never been to inside. The first thing that caught my attention was the piano and the Stratovarious violin on the piano. It was so beautiful that I could not prevent myself from playing it when Ali Osman went inside to prepare espresso for the guests. When he came back, I could see he was as surprised as I was to be my legal guardian but I could also see that he was glad to have a friend that will accompany him for the rest of his life.
I stayed with Ali Osman for about one year and in the meantime I was going better as he was going worse and worse. He never gave up on alcohol and also his wealth was decreasing as he was spending on me. He also did not get back to acting; instead he chose to spend time with me, since I was his only friend, the only support in the whole world. However he was also aware of the fact that he was not going to be able to look after me anymore and social workers are going to take me from him. Even though he had already become an alcohol addict, he made the best decision and sent me to the pre medication school.
I don’t even want to remember the day I left that house. There was a strange bond of friendship between us, based on the days I knew him before his appointment as my legal guardian, although if I would know that he was married to my mother before, I would not accept him as my stepfather. However I can never reject the fact that he prepared my future. After the deaths of my parents, because of the unique relation my father and I had between us, I always looked for my father in the men I met. This man never had even a trace of my father, he was totally different but I should admit that in the one year he looked after me, he had been a real father to me.

MY ENCOUNTER WITH ALI OSMAN PODOROVICH

There are many kinds of people living on the street I live in. Some have neat families with bright children, some are widows and some are just too old. There is one man who I can call as the strangest of all; his name is Ali Osman Podorovich. He is a modest man, who is lonely and living his own life. He is a mysterious man, he drinks all the time. I can smell that he drank every time he passes before me. He sometimes gives me money when I play my violin and sometimes he sits somewhere around me listening to the music and pondering deeply.
He sometimes talks to me; I know his name from there. He told me that he was an actor and once he was nominated for the Oscars but he could not get it. He told me about the life he had once upon a time, he was one of the shining stars that we see on television but he lost everything. Sometimes I find two of us very similar, both of us are lonely in life; lonely and destitute. Also both of us lost everything we used to have once upon a time, lost our former life.
I like talking to him and I enjoy his company. I told my story to him too. I should also add that you shouldn’t think that I tell my story to everybody. I don’t want people feeling sorry for me because despite my small age I have been through the mill already. I noticed that he listened to me more carefully when I told about my family; I think he never had a family like that. I could see the longing for such a family in his eyes.
He really looks like an actor with his tightly tied ponytail and with the sharp features of his face. Though I never saw movie that he played in, I must be too small to remember even if I saw. Sometimes he creates a sense of fear in my body because of his mysterious manners but I think he is a harmless person who is nice but who is rather lonely.

THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF MY FICTIONAL LIFE

The most important day of my life was the day the earthquake happened and that was the very same day that I lost my parents, our house and everything that used to belong to me, except my violin. That day had the deepest impact on my life, since it totally changed with this incidence. Nothing was the same ever again.
That night was strange from the beginning actually, the sky looked like a piece of cloth embroidered with millions of different precious stones. The stars never shined that way in the city, because of lights. Also it was extremely hot out there, I am not exaggerating but it was almost as hot as hell as if the Satan was signaling his final countdown for so many lives that are gone now. It was about 9 o’clock at night, we have had our diner and we were watching our favorite television show. Then my mobile phone started to ring and I went to upstairs o pick up that phone. That phone saved my life but I don’t know what I would choose, to die or to be saved. Well, let me turn to my story. When I went to upstairs I began to feel the shaking of the floor. The beds were moving and the closets were falling. Our house was demolishing in front of my eyes and I could do nothing but to watch. The worse of it was to hear the screams of my parents. One of the closets fell above me, providing me my life triangle between the walls. Yet I was hearing my father and my mother yelling because they were badly injured.
Me being saved in that accident is totally by chance but I still don’t know if it was luck or unluckiness. Before the disaster, I was happily living with my family in our sweet house. As the only child of the family I had a very happy childhood, my parents cared for me and loved me more than anything else in the world. I learned to play the violin when I was too little and I was playing beautifully. My parents were the best ones in the world and they raised me the best way they can, since I was a child for whom they had waited for so long time.
That was the most important day of my life, yet important days are not always necessarily joyful and happy. This was the worst day of my life as well, in which I was hurt physically and mentally. And in an unrecoverable way…